Did U?

Did u 4get sumthing mum?
Is there sumthing u had 2 do?
Did u 4get about me mum?
Tell me it’s not tru
Mum I luv u but pls tell me now
Is he mor imprtnt 2 u?
Mor than me sumhow?
I dnt kno how 2 say this
I kno it'll hurt u
But sumhow I hav 2
Or else I jst wnt pull thru
I hate him mum
2 the very core
I dnt kno wat else 2 say
This is hurting mor and mor
I'm sorry mum
This hurts me 2
I dnt wnt 2 hav 2 do this
But I feel I’ve got 2

Dear Mum

I can't tell you how beautiful it is here.
The lights surround me like a glowing blanket,
the air is warm, fresh, I feel I can breathe again.
Mum you would love it here, I know it, I covet
your happiness, hence why I don't ask you
To come join me now. That would be too much
The world there was too demanding for me you see
That’s why I came here, and why I can't do lunch.
I'm sorry I left so suddenly mum, something came up
But life is like that isn't it mum? Especially for you
Rushing around keeping everyone happy, your charm
Always fell on the right faces like it would always do.
I'm sad I had to leave mum, I didn't want to go
But something was pulling me, saying that peace awaited
My arrival. Although I didn't find it I’m happy waiting.
One day when you come mum then I’ll know to what I’m fated
The world here is wonderous, I’ve never felt happier
I really did love you mum, even with all your flaws
I know your grieving for me mum, but know I am at peace
the time is nearing for the gates to close, slowly I hear the calls
My time is coming to a close mum, I really have to go
I know I caused you pain mum, but this is the last time
I hope. Life awaits me here, I’m going to find one
One that will be good enough for you, don't worry, I’ll be fine.

5 Minutes

5 minutes to go
Five more minutes to wait
Distractions abound
Achievments await
Work needs to be done
I want to go to sleep
People swarm around
There's no time to weep

4 minutes to go
Time is ticking away
Page's still empty
My pen still remains
Lifeless on the page
Listless in my hand
Classes are coming up
Time acts like a brand

3 minutes to go
Pressure begins to build
Heat lapps at my heels
Time will never stand still
People are dwindling
Pen begins to move

2 minutes to go
Words begin to come
Flowing onto the page
It will never get done
No time left

1 minute to go
Nothing to hand in
3 lines, times brand

The bell rings . . .

Unknown

Holding the passion deep inside
I wonder how soon I should let you in
I know you would be proud of me
But I’m afraid to sacrifice my mind
These children are my closest confidents
The ones that are my heart and soul
I want to show you my world
But does that mean I’ll loose it all?

The words I weave are my story
My heartache and mind expressed here
I want to show you my joy and work
Yet I don’t want you to see my soul
I can’t work out how to do that yet
I don’t know if I should try
I want to share this talent with you
But I fear that it’s too great a sacrifice

Friday Night

The world sways in front of my eyes
I swallow the liquid, it sears my mind
The dizziness won’t go away
Oh please make it go away
Why can’t anyone stand up straight?
I have an uneasy feeling something is wrong
What did I do? How many did I have?
Then
The realisation hits
Like a hammer to the head
Stars are exploding in front in front of me
Why are you looking at me like that?
I didn’t know you could fly
Something is pushing into my back
I feel the coarse woollen stuff
I roll
Over, what am I doing on the floor?
I’m so sorry everyone, I didn’t mean
I didn’t mean what? Where am I?
Who’s holding the bucket to my face?
No! You’re going to suffocate me
Too tired to fight, it all comes back up.

Disapointment

The black winding pathways
Thronged with the four wheeled beasts
Rounding the final corner
Expectations and hopes dashed
Snatched away from me
The realisation of truth lingers
The building breathes an exhausted sigh
Letting its disappointment free

Photograph

Look at me in that photograph
Do I look sick to you?
The dark circles around my eyes
The pale skin
All reflecting the internal battle
I’m trying to be happy
The smile says it all
Straining, I want to be there
My heart refuses the call

I hate the burden of that smile
So fake and tired, it rips my face
It burns my eyes, and I hope
That one day it will fade
To yellowing ochre, like old photographs
Taking the sad, tired story with it
So I may forget the day
And only remember the people in it.