Fluro Pink High Heels

Reminiscent of vague school girl dreams,
Bows cover the dainty toes of a womanly charm.
The innocent visage is set opposed
To the sashaying hips and staggered gait.

Elegance in childs shoes, or a mirage?
When you girls sleep and dream,
Of bows on their toes and ribbons in their hair,
The fluro pink high heels run wild through the night.

My Growing Addiction

Shrouded in a cloud of mystery
You’re the one who’s dear to me
There is nothing I can do
To break this rapture I hold in you
Spinning your web you ensnare my mind
Writhing in pain you leave me behind
To endure this burning within my soul
I put you down to merely a roll
Of false security
To which I retreat ever increasingly

Do They - second after sams death

Do they smell the old wounds?
Do they hear the distant cries?
Of loved ones lost before
And so they take those left to die
The ones around us fall
To this life of uncertainty
Bending to the final call
For their last shot at immortality
Wishing this curse would go away
Run and leave me here
Released from this constant pain
Let another drown in unfamiliar tears

untitled following sams death

The idle stream of people
Briskly walking by
Never stopping,
Never knowing,
Never asking why,
This little body
Small and fragile
Motionless on the floor,
Tore the gut out of the whore.
It’s happening again
I don’t know why
Pain and suffering, my distant friends
Living barely to keep a life

Did U?

Did u 4get sumthing mum?
Is there sumthing u had 2 do?
Did u 4get about me mum?
Tell me it’s not tru
Mum I luv u but pls tell me now
Is he mor imprtnt 2 u?
Mor than me sumhow?
I dnt kno how 2 say this
I kno it'll hurt u
But sumhow I hav 2
Or else I jst wnt pull thru
I hate him mum
2 the very core
I dnt kno wat else 2 say
This is hurting mor and mor
I'm sorry mum
This hurts me 2
I dnt wnt 2 hav 2 do this
But I feel I’ve got 2

Dear Mum

I can't tell you how beautiful it is here.
The lights surround me like a glowing blanket,
the air is warm, fresh, I feel I can breathe again.
Mum you would love it here, I know it, I covet
your happiness, hence why I don't ask you
To come join me now. That would be too much
The world there was too demanding for me you see
That’s why I came here, and why I can't do lunch.
I'm sorry I left so suddenly mum, something came up
But life is like that isn't it mum? Especially for you
Rushing around keeping everyone happy, your charm
Always fell on the right faces like it would always do.
I'm sad I had to leave mum, I didn't want to go
But something was pulling me, saying that peace awaited
My arrival. Although I didn't find it I’m happy waiting.
One day when you come mum then I’ll know to what I’m fated
The world here is wonderous, I’ve never felt happier
I really did love you mum, even with all your flaws
I know your grieving for me mum, but know I am at peace
the time is nearing for the gates to close, slowly I hear the calls
My time is coming to a close mum, I really have to go
I know I caused you pain mum, but this is the last time
I hope. Life awaits me here, I’m going to find one
One that will be good enough for you, don't worry, I’ll be fine.

5 Minutes

5 minutes to go
Five more minutes to wait
Distractions abound
Achievments await
Work needs to be done
I want to go to sleep
People swarm around
There's no time to weep

4 minutes to go
Time is ticking away
Page's still empty
My pen still remains
Lifeless on the page
Listless in my hand
Classes are coming up
Time acts like a brand

3 minutes to go
Pressure begins to build
Heat lapps at my heels
Time will never stand still
People are dwindling
Pen begins to move

2 minutes to go
Words begin to come
Flowing onto the page
It will never get done
No time left

1 minute to go
Nothing to hand in
3 lines, times brand

The bell rings . . .

Unknown

Holding the passion deep inside
I wonder how soon I should let you in
I know you would be proud of me
But I’m afraid to sacrifice my mind
These children are my closest confidents
The ones that are my heart and soul
I want to show you my world
But does that mean I’ll loose it all?

The words I weave are my story
My heartache and mind expressed here
I want to show you my joy and work
Yet I don’t want you to see my soul
I can’t work out how to do that yet
I don’t know if I should try
I want to share this talent with you
But I fear that it’s too great a sacrifice

Friday Night

The world sways in front of my eyes
I swallow the liquid, it sears my mind
The dizziness won’t go away
Oh please make it go away
Why can’t anyone stand up straight?
I have an uneasy feeling something is wrong
What did I do? How many did I have?
Then
The realisation hits
Like a hammer to the head
Stars are exploding in front in front of me
Why are you looking at me like that?
I didn’t know you could fly
Something is pushing into my back
I feel the coarse woollen stuff
I roll
Over, what am I doing on the floor?
I’m so sorry everyone, I didn’t mean
I didn’t mean what? Where am I?
Who’s holding the bucket to my face?
No! You’re going to suffocate me
Too tired to fight, it all comes back up.

Disapointment

The black winding pathways
Thronged with the four wheeled beasts
Rounding the final corner
Expectations and hopes dashed
Snatched away from me
The realisation of truth lingers
The building breathes an exhausted sigh
Letting its disappointment free

Photograph

Look at me in that photograph
Do I look sick to you?
The dark circles around my eyes
The pale skin
All reflecting the internal battle
I’m trying to be happy
The smile says it all
Straining, I want to be there
My heart refuses the call

I hate the burden of that smile
So fake and tired, it rips my face
It burns my eyes, and I hope
That one day it will fade
To yellowing ochre, like old photographs
Taking the sad, tired story with it
So I may forget the day
And only remember the people in it.

My Angel

Wings beat overhead, rustling the leaves
I turn around, and see the angel of my dreams
Standing before me as real as can be
Your arms enfold me, and I’m finally happy

Despite the odds you came into my world of night
Rested your wings and stopped your flight
Bringing your light you banished my darkness
Stay as long as you like, and you'll grant my wishes

My life now seems a wonderful wholesome place
The peace you bring me lets me forget the race
I hope you’re happy here, because I know that I am
Without you I was so lost, now I have you to understand

Jungle Book

Glossy leaves slipping under my finger tips
The life being emitted makes my heart tick
Lines of trees standing tall, draped in revelry
Wonderful colours, surrounding the bland creator’s imagery

Creations of epic proportions, gilded in gold
Like a Baghdad night, explosions unfold
Colours flash across the black night sky
Petals falling through their arms as they climb high

The paths hewn into the undergrowth and rock
Form the way through which predators stalk
Following the gifts that they wish to ensnare
One captures the winning prize, the rest get dregs and air

Lives roll through the workings of the jungle
Day in and out, they fall into place and tumble
Living their dreams, creatures go about their days
Creating the image which confronts us, working with the display

Glossy leaves slip from under the adventurer’s hands
Falling into place, a rectangle of life like mannequin stands
Waiting for the next adventurer the pages revel in time
In the darkness the images conspire, passing whispers down the line

The World Is Quiet

The world is quiet today
Either that or I’m just not listening
The little voice in my head telling me
To die, is no longer persisting

The wind is blowing softly
Rustling the leaves as the world sighs
The sun is shining down warmly
The gift of life, I wonder why

The world around me is so dark
The people I live, the only light
In the darkness I bring with me,
Although the life I live is bright.

Gothic Girl

In her world, there isn’t only darkness
In her world, there aren’t only the bad
In her world, there isn’t only death
In her world, there aren’t only the sad

She does not know her world as grey
She does not know her world as fear
She does not know her world as morbid
She knows her world as her dear

The life she leads dare not be a danger
The life she leads is not a manifestation
The life she leads dare not be forced upon her
The life she leads is thwarted by temptation

She knows her world as her life
She knows her world as her home
She knows her world as her right
She knows her world as her own

This girl has no need to be feared
This girl does know what you think
This girl has no need to be self-conscious
This girl does not know what you write in ink

Her mornings are the dawn as yours
Her Evenings are the same as your sunsets
Her friends like yours, may not share her views
Her ideas are new and her habits set

She respects your choice of ways
She does not care about your thought
She respects your laws and traditions
She does not mind doing what she ought

This a new breed of persona
This is a creation, made by the earths whirl
This child is to be no different

She is only a Gothic Girl

Nightmare

The silent screams echo through my mind
They’re ceaseless moans play tricks with time
A squeaking bed
I run and hide
A grown girl, hiding from her demons
In lamb’s clothing, they’re not the reason
She did not do those things
Time was short
And she
Was in season.

Death of Darkness

The darkness is slipping away
When I woke it was still there
I’m sitting here wishing it would stay
Secure in the world, I don’t have much say

In all matters green and good
All trials trivial and tumultuous
My place is lost by my own mood
Now I’m secure I lost where I once stood

The darkness has left me alone
I’m wishing I had kept it closer
Leaving me, I fell empty, the zone
I live in, disaster, I’ve become a crone

The youth I once had, the naivety,
The wholesome purity, life’s wonders
This innocence I’ve lost so long, my virginity
The world’s expectations, supreme authority

The suns’ rays slip, shining into my eyes
Burning the cobwebs of the days past
My head clears, and the months begin to fly
Time slides, darkness is gone, and I wonder why

Black Hearts

Black hearts floating on the wind,
Come to rest at my feet,
They shatter as they hit the earth,
In a million pieces across the street.
I raise my head to see their faces,
Black hearts kiss me on the cheek,
There are no familiar places I know,
Where my feet can reach.
There is nowhere I can run to.
No where a safe haven for me.
I’m scared of what I’ve made myself.
Nothing can bring me peace.
I’ll escape this all one day
As a seed may grow into a tree.
When finally my heart shall rest
And the black hearts vanish around me.

Pop

A sea of sadness overflowed before her
Rising out of her empty cup
How could they do this to dad she thought
Her father, her guardian, her pop
They’d taken him away they told her,
To a place where he could rest
To a place where he would be happy
That’s what mum told her
Mum knew what was best
Mum she trusted blindly,
But pop she trusted more,
She went to visit him every day
She saw the place was changing pop
His eyes flew around the room
And he’d often start to sweat
With a scream and a clenched fist
He’d smash the wall his best
His hands came back bloodied and bruised
The air rushing through his chest
\He’d sit back down and stare at her
She’d look back crying through the Perspex
He’d never been like this before
This consumed with rage and fear
He’d always been her gentle giant
The one she had always admired
But somehow always feared
He’d stalk around the house at night
Grumbling and rumbling his way
But every dad did that at times
Mum said “No, not they”
I’d creep down and watch him sometimes
He’d never notice me, or he didn’t care
He’d talk to someone he knew
But no one else was there.

Hell Hole

Wondering if I’ll make it through the day
Hoping that I’ll see him when I get there
Praying that I shouldn’t blow it away
Crying out to whoever will listen, clawing at my hair
Obsessing, driving me over the edge
Leaping only at broken opportunities
I pray to God, please don’t let me do something I’ll regret
Running away from the hell hole that she ties
I pull at the bonds that tie me down
Unable to break through I bleed my sorrow
The blood pours out silent and smooth
It pools on the ground at my feet
By this a pray for release, it won’t come today
I stand there in my silence, waiting for the darkness to fall
I hold my breath, and turn my back,
Block the noise out, erase the voices
They still enter and spin in my whirlwinds
They’re breaking through now, I can’t ignore them
I fall to my knees and hide my face from their eyes
They don’t know me, theses strangers,
I shy away from their touch, but it’s inevitable
The hands that touch me burn my skin,
Their eyes penetrate my form and I hear them speak
“Its alright, I’m here for you. You’re not alone anymore”
I stop, and I sigh, I lift my face, and I wipe away the blood.
I know that voice, it has never failed to move me
I turn and I fall into their waiting embrace.
I couldn’t let go, this person is my only reason for life
How can they come just to leave me?
Then they fade, I’m grasping at nothing.
Kneeling on the floor, bleeding my life away
It was all a vision, a mirage, fakes.
I lie down on the cold tiles
No one it calling. I am completely alone
I let out my breath and breathe again
But I will myself to stop,
To release my soul from this world
Instead I scream.

Desires

I want to throw just a little fit
I want to cause just a little pain
It will only hurt just a little bit
My want is a little too great to refrain

I want you to know what I’m feeling
I want you to know that I’m not dealing
It is only my mind that is out whack
And its only female ducks that can quack

I want to let you know a bit about me
I want to make you realise, something
It’s that I’m not just what you see
My mind is just a too little confusing

Revolution

Blood drips
Time ticks
Death awaits
Time escapes
Life lost
What cost
Love found
Comes round
Rain falls
Builds walls
Skies dreary
Sees clearly

Taken First

Cursing, crying, running, chasing
Who knows where it will end
I hope it’s not with me,
I pray I’m taken first
So I won’t know the agony
So I won’t know the pain
So I know I’ll be remembered

Nails

Nails
Useful
Long and pointed
Pain, screaming
Driving into bodies
Of wood

I Want...

I want to fly
Fly away from this conflict

I want to die
Lost and alone amidst this destruction

I want to lie
To save myself, and his heart

I want to cry
Release my fears and inner self

I want to sigh
Breathe out the turmoil in my heart

I want to pry
Pry open this box of suppressed hurts

I want to try
Try to live without these stupid games

Outside My Door

Pitter patter, pitter patter
Little feet step
Across the ground
Outside my door
Thrice times I have wept

Swishing, sloshing
Water runs down
Into the drain
Outside my door
I wish I would have slept

Squeaking, creaking
The springs bend
And groan
Outside my door
The time has come for death.

Untitled

Tears course down my face
I catch them in my hands
Wishing somehow that it won’t last
Knowing all too well it will

Dreams are wondrous things
Living in one would be nice too
This nightmare around me is too real
Is it possible to get to you?

I need someone to care
I want someone to hold my hand
Desperation is closing in here
Threatening to suffocate my mind

I’m dying in this skin
I want to rip it off and burn it
Create a new look, image
I’m dying to become everything you want.

Better Off

The seat is cold beneath my things
I wonder why it’s taking so long
Its days like these I want to die
Days like these when I wonder if I’m wrong

The bus is late in coming
I’m sitting here freezing my butt off
The wind around me is gently humming
Giving me time to think that I’m better off

I want to know what’s on your mind
The wind whispers your name
I long for your breath on my cheeks
There is so much, I must refrain

Life so often, gets in the way
Wanting so much more from you
I’ll let you slip silently away
Its all there is for me to really do

The bus churns down the road toward me
I throw off these oppressive thoughts
On the bus you wait to greet me
Giving me time to think I’m better off

A Sonnet To Mankind

The people slowly pass me by
I sit here and watch them go
Absorbed in their own little lives
I wonder what makes it so
Humans are wondrous creatures
Dexterous, agile, gentle and cruel
A volatile mix of emotional’s
The creatures once raised on gruel
Life, the conflict of death and birth
The continual challenge to remain
Humans’ naivety, the creatures’ instinct
The gutter symbolic of the legacies gain
The rush of life, the people hurry past
The humans’ legacy continues, will the creatures’ last?

My Children

Creations
Pure and whole
Perfectly flawed
They laugh and play
Capering around my memory
Gallivanting through my mind
Playing with the words I relate
I wonder when the next will be born

On a misty morning
Or on the road home
Will it be in the middle of a maths test?
One can never be truly sure
I watch them grow
I develop them tenderly
Hoping for only the best
I know one day I will grow too old

Ivy Hands

Living in this waking dream
I begin to see the blood flow
Wishing I could leave this realm
I’m finding a new way to grow

Ivy tendrils reach skywards
Encircling my motionless form
The blood drops stain their leaves
Lifting me up, with me they mourn

I’m trying to break away
Destroy the mould which binds
The living ivy breathes its magic
To kill is not in my heart to try

I remain in their green hands
Letting them enfold around me
Tying me to that climb, ascending
The heights. Not what I want really

Sacrifice

Running out of places to turn to
I begin to revolve again to you
You’re not there, you never were
Lost in your own world, you weren’t true

I can’t believe it’s gotten to this
An ultimatum and a stolen kiss
Breaking others hearts left and right
It’s about time I made this sacrifice

I can’t wait for you to realise the truth
It’s taken too long and too much already
Life is going on, I must move on too
Even if it means, I must sacrifice you

I don’t like to admit it, but I have lost it
Too much is affecting me now, I’m not fit
To go on hurting with anger and jealousy
It’s your life, and I’ve let you do as you please

The time has come, and I’ve finally decided
It’s my only chance to run away, opinions divided
I’ll leave you in your world, where I remained
As long as I could, but now all I am is drained

You’ve crossed the line, the fatal step you took
I’m not coming back this time, even if you try to look
For me, I won’t be there, when things go wrong
Even if I care it won’t show. Time to stand on your own

My Eden

Surrounded by people
Yet still all alone
The bus is my sanctuary
My home away from home

Like Eden, my house
Is no longer mine
Dispelled, disowned
My security slips like the Rhine

Lost in the madness
Struggling just to breathe
Now the restraints are broken
I’m so tempted to just scream

Break Me Down

You broke me down, tore me apart
You seemed to care, you seemed to want
But now I see all you wanted was fun
I see that you wanted to play me and taut
I won’t have it anymore; I won’t be your toy
I’ve cried enough tears, and shed enough blood
I’m so much more than her that you don’t need
You couldn’t handle me, even if you understood
I cared about you; I want you to be happy
I wanted you to hurt her for all she’s done
I wish I could have been what you wanted
But I’m glad I’m not, now I can have my fun
I’m free of your traps, and now I can see
Even though we were friends, it could never be

Radio Hearts

Everything has gone wrong
Nothing has turned out ok
Listening to the radio
I hear my soul begin to play.

The straining electric beats
Pulse, bring my speakers to life
I feel the bass thrumming
My tired body breathes a lie.

Waking up to the nightmare
The darkness’s veil drips away
Flowing with the crystal water
Ebbing, tired, love down the drain.

The blood from the tuner drips
Slipping away through the airwaves
Listing to my electronic heartache,
People across the land can relate

Walls

Lonely, confused
My life falls apart
Around me the walls crumble
The light has dimmed
My eyes can’t adjust
To see the flames which still burn
It’s too fast
I can’t catch the bricks as they fall
The cracks in the floor are coming closer

I build the walls up around me
Again and again they fail
Watching the bricks
And mortar crumble
I’m wishing you would just leave me alone
You confuse me
You knock down my defences
You don’t really want me
You want my body
My outer shell

New Day

The morning air is cold
Crisp
Clean
It stirs, the breath of life.
The world
It awakens
From the deep slumber
Of night

Tiredness dissipates,
The night slips away.
I’m walking,
Pacing
Toward the rest of the day.
It’s nearing
Bringing with it
Action,
Life,
Reality.

I abandon my imaginary dreams.
Like the tide
They slip away,
As the moon pulls them down
Taking them under the earth.
Sliding,
Gliding,
The waters of my dreams
Flow
Towards the end.

Doc 3

I’m loosing it here
I don’t know where I am
Wanting a saviour
Knowing only I can

I’m drained of all feeling
Wishing I could die
There is a chance for healing
Just maybe not this time

Wishes for a better deal
Wishing I wasn’t so vulnerable
The emotional fodder I have become
Eats away gradually at my heart

Morning Sickness

Some days I wake up
Delirious with hate
Hearing them in there
I wonder what’s a worse fate
I don’t care
I don’t agree
But what can I do?
I’m only me

I listen to them
I listen to her scream
I want to break down the door
To scream at her face
To send him packing
Far, far away

I wish this is all a dream
I want to wake up
I want to forget I felt like this
I want the heavens opened up above

Why can’t I let this go?
Why do I have to have so much hate?
Why can’t I tell her how I feel?
Why don’t I tell her what’s real?

I wish for the day when I can leave
Fly away from the hell hole
Only to come back when I know
I’ll be able to handle this place…

My Notebook

This is going to be a place where i leave my notes, poems, stories, whatever creative whim takes my fancy.

It shall be here, and it shall be mine.

There may be clues relating to the real world, but that is your business whether you chose to interpret these works or not.

I love writing, and i aim to be good at it, leave your comments here if you wish.

I am glad for any feedback you leave.

With love and kisses,

Sheri